The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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