Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
