Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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