Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
