she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
