Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
