so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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