theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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