I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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