why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i came on her dog
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
