I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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