It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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