Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
