I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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