3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
