Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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