Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize