I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
