a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think your dad took our porno
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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