Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize