i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
