So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
