youre lurking in front of me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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