I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
