i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
