Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
