Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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