Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
