69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
third nipple confirmed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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