I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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