Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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