It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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