You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
