I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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