i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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