Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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