i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just pee around me
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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