Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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