At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
