Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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