420 ftw
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
