I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I died a long time ago.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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