he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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