Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
