Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
