So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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