She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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