If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
