put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I wear drunk well.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
