its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
