Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
