Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
