Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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