And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize