she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
