well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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