We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
