I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The adults are the big ones right?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
