dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
