No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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