i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
