Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
