everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
