smell my finger.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
