Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
