He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
