You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
